by Corey Hill

Donald Trump, erstwhile Fascist in Chief, has a birthday coming up on June 14th. I’m not sure we all got the invite to any of the celebrations, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our best to participate.

The question we’re all asking ourselves in advance of this momentous occasion: just what is the right gift for someone who locks kids in cages, runs roughshod over democracy, and calls for American troops to deploy against peaceful protestors?

Seems maybe a card might not be quite the right fit.

Here’s something to consider: the guy doesn’t seem all that happy where he is now. He’s had to go down in the bunker a few times because his colossal corruption, racism, xenophobia, and pervasive unfitness for his position so incensed protestors that the Secret Service thought it prudent to put him deep underground, you know, just in case the streets got any hotter.

In the past few weeks, afraid of the righteous fury of the people whose enmity he has earned roughly a thousand times over, he put up some fences around the White House. He dispatched active duty military. He ordered his goons to fire tear gas at peaceful protestors so he could shoot a campaign video.

But no one was scared. The fences came down. The helicopters and the national guard are gone. We got trampled in body but not in spirit. The people stood up and said sorry guy, not this time.

And now the orange authoritarian is rattled, tired, scared. He could use some time away from the rigors of the Presidency. All the time in the world, in fact.

The best possible gift we could give to Donald Trump is also one of these kinds of things where the gift is really more of a gift to ourselves, too: get this mendacious malignancy out of the White House, immediately. Across the nation, this Sunday, people all across the country are taking to the streets to send a birthday message to Donald Trump:

Take some time off from the job. Permanently.